Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Insult to Injury

Well. I have some good news and some bad news.

First the good news: The woman called from the stables and is willing to give me a chance to work with horses, despite my limited experience, starting thursday! Maybe soon i can finally do someting with myself besides sit at home andwatch animal planet on tv. Im excited!

Now the bad news: My computer is dying! I cant believe I have even gotten this far today with it because the hard drive is failing and I dont know when the next time I will get online is... I have backed up all my photos but it looks like I will lose all my MP3s and movies, including the whole first season of LOST (my favorite show) and all 4 seasons of Scrubs. (my second favorite show). Dammit.

The other part of the bad news i dont want to make a big deal out of yet because Im not sure of the extent of the damage or how long this is going to last... but I had a conversation with a certain boyfirend last night (whose name has been changed for his protection... for now we'll call him Duke.) Anyway, Duke expressed to me his doubts as to whether or not me joining him in England would be the best long term option. He said he didnt want to go through the whole painful process of me getting a visa if it didnt end up working out anyway... basically he said he thought we maybe shouldnt even bother.

To which I replied "i cant believe im hearing this from the man who moved to Australia to be with me." I was so furious i didnt know what else to say. I cant believe that he is being so selfish that now that he is home and has his friends and family and job that he thinks he doesnt need me anymore. 6 weeks people, six weeks it has taken him to conclude that he has more important things to do than start a life and family with me, after all we have been through with the two countries and moving back and forth from Australia. And he wants to give up before we even try. Im still in shock and do not know whats going to happen.. which is why I appear calm here, but trust me, I am still fuming. I also told him I didnt want to hear from him again until the man I know is back on this planet.. which maybe I shouldnt have done, but honestly, people dont change that much in 6 weeks and I want to know what else is going on.. if only he would tell me.

Anyhoo, who knows when the next time my computer will work again so it may be a while before Im back.. i really dont know. Id appreciate some words of wisdom here as Ive consulted a few people and they've all come to the same conclusion: he is scared. The probem is, its not like him to be scared... hes the stable one, Im the emotional one! I dont know. I will get back on this one soon though, as soon as I know something... anything... because the one definite thing in my life has just faltered and Im not sure where to go now.

where did we go?  Posted by Picasa

 Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 23, 2005

Still nothing

Why do I feel like this place is sucking the life out of me?? I used to be interested in so many things that I thought I would never be able to choose what I wanted to do because I wanted to do EVERYthing. Since I've been home I feel as though I'm suddenly trapped- incapable of changing anything, and stuck here in an unaccomodating, inflexible, and creativity-smothering environment. Everything I used to enjoy seems to have been stifled here. I have no desire to paint or take photos, I can no longer cut gem stones or volunteer with animals, no days on the beach, no more modeling, no more rugby games, no passions, no more learning of any kind. I barely have the desire to blog anymore because anything I interesting I used to have to say is gone, replaced by monotony and boredom.

Is this a normal part of leaving college, paired with the fact that I was forced to leave the life I loved and got dropped back into a life I don't want? All I want is for things to be how they were, and even though I know that cant happen, I'm still too attached to the thought to move on with life here.


Wheel Posted by Picasa


A bee doing bee-ey things Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I think my eye is falling out.

I have had a sinus headache all day, which I am prone to. Now, its a quarter past midnight and I keep yawning because im tired, and every time I do I get a shooting pain in my eye socket!! Is that normal?? Weird.

Today I went for a job interview to work with horses at a stable not far from my house. It would be a dream job for me at the moment. Ok, not exactly related to what I got my degree in, (archaeology) but something I have always loved nonetheless and only want to be given the chance to do well at. Im not sure if I have enough experience for these people because they're all show horses and are owned by rich people who pay top dollar for their animal's care.... My knowledge of horse care is pretty basic as of yet. Wish me luck anyway though.

Im worried about my dog, Becky. She is 12 years old now, which is getting up there for a pure bred dog. She has cataracts and can no longer see, so needs to be guided everywhere which is hard enough... Except now she is desperately afraid to be left home alonee and pees all over the floor if she gets left behind. She wont settle down. Its now 12.49 am and she's still downstairs barking for me to come down and be with her... But even when I go down and let her out, she turns around in a circle and wants to come back in without doing anything. Im afraid she's sick, and im afraid anything that happens to her at her age will be serious. In the mean time, I cant be with her all day and night but I feel guilty leaving her alone. As much as I love my animals it sure is hard to see them grow old and die. Im not sure what's wrong with her, if anything, but the thought is enough to stress me out.

(in that photo her eyes are that way because of the cataracts)

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Books, Music, Movies, and such.

Yes, another day gone here in lovely CT. Thrilling. Actually, Im quite looking forward to Autumn here; it has been a while since Ive experienced real New England foliage- the stuff people come from miles away to witness, and hopefully, as cliche as it is around here, I will be able to photograph some of it and share.

Since I have had some time on my hands recently, I have been doing quite a bit of reading. The last 2 books I have finished in the last week which I can highly recommend are The Time Traveler's Wife, which is a bit weird but a great love story nonetheless- I cried at the end. Also I finished a book called "Notes from a Big Country" by Bill Bryson, which you may have noticed it was that book and one of his others called Notes from a Small Island from which I appropriated my blog title. Notes from a Small Island is observations Bill made when he first moved to England (he is a travel writer) whereas Notes from a Big Country is observations he made upon returning home to America after 20 years in the UK. I felt it was an appropriate book for me at this time, and indeed I was laughing hysterically throughout most of the book saying "Its all so true!" every other page. Its really humorous. I definitely recommend even if you haven't spent any time in America or England.

As far as music goes, I have been listening to an Australian band called Powderfinger a lot lately. I never got into them when I was there, though everyone always said they were good. When I started downloading things I realized how many songs I like of theirs that I never knew they sang. In particular, I have had the VERY nostalgic song "Sunsets" by them stuck in my head for the last 3 days. Listen to it- its a great song.

Tonight I watched the movie Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels with my stepfather. I don't need to tell anyone that that's a good movie... But he'd never seen it so I spent most of the evening trying to explain the plot twists and the Cockney rhyming slang. It was an ok day, I guess. Im trying not to get depressed, really. I have to stop feeling crappy and sorry for myself and find something to do. I really am getting tired of being bored! For some reason, though, I think things will be getting easier from here on out and I am looking forward to returning to some type of normality very soon.




Posted by Picasa

Saturday, September 17, 2005

So this is what writer's block feels like...

Yeah, things are definitely slowing down over here. The honeymoon period of being home is most decidedly over and Im left with.... what? Not really sure. Im trying to find ways of occupying my time here now that most of my American friends are back at college or wherever, and so far have been somewhat successful- Im now a volunteer at a local animal shelter, like i was in OZ, and might hopefully be doing some work at another one in the next city over. No actual paid work yet though.

On the bright side, my guitar arrived! Safe and in one piece, thank God. Thats a major load off my mind. Now I feel cheap because I have nothing else to talk about! How boring I have become... The mundane has taken over! Oh well. Im off to have pizza with my mom and stepdad, and im the meantime trying to think about things other than how displaced and foreign I still feel in my own country.


Indian Guy Posted by Picasa


Through my Hat Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Home again

Im home. The extra couple of days in the cape were nice. I got to go claming and we made New England clam chowder from scratch with the fresh clams we caught. Now, the search for a job really continues... im really tired and have been on a bus all day so im retiring early... i have much to do tomorrow.


My cat could stand to lose some weight... Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 09, 2005

This week's Photos


New-Englandy-type home Posted by Picasa


Cape Cod, Mass. Posted by Picasa


Antique Cars Posted by Picasa


Boardwalk Posted by Picasa

THANK GOODNESS!

Good news. Thanks to the fantastic customer service people at the Australian Postal Service, we managed to track down my guitar without a reference number, the correct date of posting, or even the right name of the office I sent it from.

The problem was, as some suggested, was that they sent it sea mail with the rest of my boxes instead of airmail, like I paid for. It will be here in October. I think I should get a refund for the extra $30 I spent to get it here early! But Im not so picky since Im just so relieved to know it's ok.

Im thinking about trying to finagle a couple of extra days here inthe cape, since my aunt and uncle bought a house here that theyre fixing up, and my cousin, the 2nd closest one to my age out of the 26, is living here while he works on it, so it will be nice to hang out with him. And, one of my close friends from home is coming up tomorrow to work and live also, so it should be a good time. If the bus ticket back to CT isnt too much, i can put off getting a job 3 days longer. We will see.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

So.... what?

<--Hazel and me wearing vampire gummi-teeth. It was all we could do to keep a straight face!


I found a wireless internet cafe up here at the Cape, therefore I feel as though I should post something since Im here, but I really have nothing to say! And its flipping FREEZING in here so my fingers dont want to type; I have goosebumps all over me.

I suppose the only thing thats on my mind, which im sure you are all sick of hearing about, is how every second of every day I am homesick for Townsville. I wonder what everyone is doing? Hows the weather? Its weird how I never felt far away from CT when I was down under, but Oz might as well be the moon when im home in New England. *sigh*....virtual hugs to everyone!

BTW, im on MySpace now. Im not sure what the point of it is, but go be my friend anyway: www.myspace.com/rahree14

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Off Again

Well Im off to the Cape tomorrow so it will probably be another week before Im able to write again. I will take copious amounts of photos while im there though, so that should relax me a bit and give y'all something to look at when I get back and post them. :)

Life in the old US of A is pretty crazy right now. Aside from the hurricane that has flattened poor New Orleans, petrol prices have gone up an unbelieveable 80 cents per gallon since I have been home. Its insane. I know compared to Europe Americans have nothing really to complain about, but prices have jumped more in the last 3 weeks than they have in my entire lifetime, which is a little scary no matter where youre from! Therefore, I am going to sit on the beach for the next week and not worry about petrol or a job or my student loans or a car or my guitar... and just veg and take photos of nice New-Englandy-stuff. Yey for me.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Worst Fears Realized

Im really starting to worry now. Remember back to my July 8th post when i said I finally had to bite the bullet and mail my guitar back to the states? My baby? My most prized posession? Well i sent it 2-3 week economy air mail so that it would be here when I got home... that was July 8th. Its september 1st. It has been over 7 weeks now and it still has not arrived. Im starting to lose hope and every time i think about it I get this awful pit in my stomach. That guitar was a gift. It was beautiful looking and had an amazing sound. It was as old as me. I absolutely cannot believe this has happened.

The worst part is that in the move I lost my reciept for it and no longer have the tracking number. I feel like a part of me has fallen off and i am devastated.




I miss it. Posted by Picasa

Silktide SiteScore for this website